I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
