That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I intend to get homeless drunk
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
