i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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