Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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