so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
