You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
