I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Randomize
