Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Randomize
