Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
we should paint friendship bongs
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