if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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