so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
3pm strippers are depressing
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
