Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
