I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
