I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
