why didn't you poke me back
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
