Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I looked at my own cervix.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
