oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
