I can text with my tongue
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize