i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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