just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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