Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
