I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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