Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
