roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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