i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
