So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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