hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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