Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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