saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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