i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Randomize
