Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Randomize
