Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Randomize
