So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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