She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
