she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
