I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
