Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
