I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Randomize
