was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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