Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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