nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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