Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
