Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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