it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
