so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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