ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize