there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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