booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Randomize
