Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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