Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
