Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Redeem this text for a blowjob
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
