I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Drunk is a universal language darling
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
