im about as happy as oj after his trial
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
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