worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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