I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
