Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
