A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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