How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
