quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
