THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
