my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
