ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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