its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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