Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Randomize
