Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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