did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
