Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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