Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
