Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
