And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
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